Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Aimee's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, January 10th, 2001
6:00 pm	La La La Ok well I'm bored. Don't know what to do. I am going to start packing my stuff and move it down stairs so we can get Jens bed into here. It should only take a day. I am just stalling cause I need to ask Jen a few questions but I don't want to call her cause I know that she is busy. I really don't have anything else to do. I should be doing homework. But I really don't feel like it. I don't think I could. I just feel like being lazy. I have been ditched by my parent and her boyfriend. They won't be back home till like 9 so I don't know what to do. I am going to be bored. But hey.. It gives me time to load my stuff. Plus I need tiny to be here so I can talk to him about it and ask him to get his stuff packed.. But I gtg.. Just wanted to write Aimster Current Mood: blah Current Music: So Happy Together (17 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 9th, 2001
1:22 am	A new day Today I don't know what to think. I don't really know what to say. I'm going through really tough times and the one person I want to be there for me.. Will not make up her mind whether she is sick of my problems or not. I know that I am going through something that she has before and that this is all that is going to be said about it. That my home life is what I talk about. But she does it too. She just talks about what she does with her b/f and I'm not complaining. (Not meant that she is doing wrong) I mean I love hearing her talk about her life and looking at me for advice or to just seek a smile. But I don't think that she wants me around. Yet she doesn't want me gone. I don't know what I am suppose to do. I don't want to go over there to make her unhappy but I want to see her and I know that she does want to see me. I know that this will pass because it always does. I just got to know that she does love me. And she will miss me. I will always love her. And will always want to be in her life. I want her to grow up with me by her side. And by tomorrow this will be better. And I will want to say that everything is fine. We just had a bad day. But I don't know how to act when she starts to pick at me. When little things I say or do start to bug her. But it all passes with time. I just don't like it when this time... takes forever... I just want to hear in her voice that she loves me.. And that she misses me. Just like I do her at times. She is my best friend. The one I call my sister. Maybe this is part of having a sibling.. Just how they feel at times. Current Mood: confused Current Music: Silence (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 26th, 2000
1:40 am	Christmas Well it the day after Christmas and I am just sitting on a computer. Christmas eve was really great until I fought with my mother. I got to see my baby and she attached to me.. My cousin Emily who was born on my b-day. I am so proud that she likes me that much. At 4 months old. She is just a doll. Everyone was just so cool yesterday but when I talked to my mom it is like she isn't giving me a choice. I have to give him a chance.. I have to or I don't any longer have any freedom until I turn 18. I will be stuck in my house and won't be able to go anywhere or do anything until I reach the age of 18. I cant' do that. I cant lose that but I can't give him yet another chance. It hurts to much to do that. It hurts so bad to even see them together. I never knew how much anger I could have against someone. But I do. I am polite as I possibly can be. But she says that if I don't give him a chance that I am pushing her away and that I don't want to do with her. But that isn't true. She isn't excepting me for the fact that I can't give him any kind of chance. And it is just something we don't agree on. As for my sis. I know she was happy last night. I know that she was in a good mood. She got me some really cool things for x-mas. Also, she got her stuff. But I haven't talked to her today and as much as I have heard on my pager she hasn't had a good day. And I don't know why. But she is upset and I know that it is something to do with her boyfriend. But being that this is her holiday and all that she said was that she didn't' care that it was Christmas.. So I know it wasn't the best of days for her.. Oh well. I will hopefully find out what happened later Christmas was good. Got lots of cool things.. Was in a good mood today. Got to take a nap.. SO all and all Doing good right now.. Talking to a friend.. Haven't seen in a while.. This is the disappointing thing in switching schools. You never get a chance to see people that you know.. Just hope I get to before it is to late.. Any ways Going for now.. Meme Current Mood: horny Current Music: Forces of nature... The movie (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 12th, 2000
11:02 pm	Merry Freakig Christmas God damn... Jen found out more crap about Troy.. THere is so much in his past that he has lied to her about. I feel so bad. I don't know what to tell her. I can tell she is hurt.. Hell, I am even hurt cause I can see myself in her situation. I couldn't honestly tell her what she should do cause I don't know what I would do. Granted she did look at his stuff. But still. He shouldn't have hid this stuff from her. He should have told her. He should have told her from the beginning. But he flat out lied to her. I know it is killing her. All I want to do is help her but I can't. She promised she would call. And cme over if she could. I will write more in a min.. Gotta page (Comment on this)
Monday, December 11th, 2000
10:52 pm	Wow it has been forever I'm just being me. Asshole is back. I hate him I swear. He doesn't deserve my mom and I don't like him. I want to move out. My sis is fighting with her boyfriend again. I feel bad but hey, it usually works out pretty well. My head hurts like a bitch and I have been sick for a week. Well all caught up... Oh wait.. I transferred schools. So much happier. Wish I had a boyfriend. I miss having one. And I am really sick of guys who aren't single telling me that they would go out with me if they were single. Screw you.. I am sick of it. Just don't say it. It makes me want a boyfriend even worse. Current Mood: bitchy (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 8th, 2000
12:25 pm	Grr!! I can't go 2 days without throwing up First I choke on a smoke... So I know that i was going to go puke. So I did. So I go back into my room, take a drag and then puke on my pillow!! How incredibly gross. I am so pissed. I want to eat but I am scared to because I don't want to throw up. That really bites!! I am going to go see my sis at work today. Make her feel special cause she knows that I have to do a lot in order to go see her today. But I love her and I want to. So I am happy but still upset with my stomach. I will write some tonight. Ta ta for now! Current Mood: blah Current Music: I needed you (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 7th, 2000
3:17 am	Bored and tired Well it is really freaking late and I am still up and talking to Troy no less. He is doing laundry and he has to go to a meeting early so he stayed at his parents house. I wish I could go see him. I bored and it seems like so is he. I am sure being that there isn't really anything to do this late. But sleep. Which I should be doing. I wish I could. I want to . But it is just not possible right now. I want to go drive or watch something that will make me fall asleep or something. I wish I could. Well I'm off to talk to him Current Mood: tired Current Music: The sounds of Instant Messaging (Comment on this)
Friday, October 6th, 2000
11:32 pm	Back to my story Lets see. Anyway that night we like had a wrestling match practically and it was funny. I guess I like hit her in her stomach.. hehe I felt bad. But when the alarm went off, she looked so humble and she was glowing.. She was in such a good mood. She would look at me and then look off and I was doing the same and then we both looked at each other and started to laugh. We went out and smoked and talked about it. She was in a good mood. And I am happy that she is back to normal I missed her. Anyway. I went out with my mom and went to the store and bought some stuff. We got a humidifier for me. Doctors orders. And I am going to shoot the fucking thing. It is the loudest thing I have ever heard. It isn't supposes to be. It is suppose to be quiet. The box says quiet output.. MY ASS!!! Whatever. Anyway.. I am going to go look for some things online. Write some soon. Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: The fucking vaporazor (Comment on this)
3:41 pm	Ahhh my sister is kinda back to normal. I went and saw her Wednesday night. We talked and she was really happy to see me. She invited me to stay. She is really pissed at her boyfriend and she is tired from work. She is at the stage where her job is still new but she has been there for about 2 weeks. She is really tired and in pain. Not to mention she is having medical problems. I want to help her really bad. But there really isn't anything that I can do cause her parents are dicks and they don't have any insurance for her. So grr to them. But anyway I went over there and I couldn't get to sleep. I just watched her sleep. It was nice. I ended up not being able to breathe at all. I really got panicked. I went out into her living room and called my mom. She was like breathe, you'll be ok and just stuff like that. She wanted to come get me but I wouldn't let her. I told her that I would stay there. I went and got back into bed to find out that she had waken Troy up and started talking to him in her sleep... :) what a goob. But as I got back into bed she leaned back and head butted me OW!!! Of course she didn't wake up. Neither of us slept well. I would wake up and so did she. But I will have to finish this later because my mom just paged.. Grr Anyway Talk more soon Current Mood: loved Current Music: Kieth Urban My Everything (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 4th, 2000
1:03 am	Well life sucks around these parts. My sister is shitty. She has a few things wrong with her. Her and her boyfriend are fighting. I feel bad for her cause she doesn't know what to do and I wish that I could help her but I can't. And I want to be there for her and she does know that but she is going through a time where she just wants to be alone and I understand that. I want to give her that time. I wanna see her too. But I have seen her alot and I know that she just needs time. I have been sick forever. I am just getting worse and it sucks. I don't want to get worse. I want to get better. I want to go back to school but it is like I just don't know how to get better. I can't breathe very well right now And i miss it. I wish that I could just fix everythiing and make everything go away. I wish that my mom would stop going back to the asshole. I wish that my sister was ok and that she was in a good mood and that she was happy and that her boyfriend would listen to her. I wish that my family would understand and let me talk to them with out anyone saying anything to anyone else. Now I just don't want to talk to anyone. Right now I actually feel really alone. Not because of anything anyone has done. BUt because I can't do anything. Because I can;t see anyone. I need to go see my friends. I need to see some one. I need to not be alone.. I need to get out and get away and just go back to my life. I need to get a hug even. Just something I am glad that I can talk to my sis. But she is tired. She doesn't even know I feel this way. And she would just think that it is because of her. And it isn't. It is just cause I'm stuck here. And I want to get away. I want to see someone smile because of me. I want to see that I can not be sick anymore. I want to leave. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Nothing... The TV... X-files (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 5th, 2000
6:20 pm	Hey everyone I am really wanting to write cause I have been reading my journal and I haven't written in a long time. i just want to type but I have to do some chores first so hopefully I will get around to writting to night. But I will talk to you guys soon Current Mood: chipper Current Music: EverClear Wonderful (Comment on this)
Monday, September 4th, 2000
9:31 pm	Well I am home for a night. I am trying my best not to fight with my mom. We aren't going to go throught some easy times but I have to get through it. I can't just keep fighting with her but I can't just give up my ground and say that everything is ok. Cause it isn't. But I now can't leave because school is starting. It sucks. But it is true. I will write more in a few... I need to make a phone call Current Mood: bored Current Music: Tim Mcgraw.. Just to see you smile (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 31st, 2000
1:22 am	Hey everyone.. It has been a long time but I haven't been home to write. I am going through alot. My mother is chosing her loser man over her daughter. She refuses to admit that she is making a bad desision. I am really worried that I won't be able to take it much longer. He has a past like you wouldn't believe and I have been fighting with her for two weeks straight. There has been no real talking between us. Just fighting. And it hurts cause I have always talked to my mom. We have been really close for the longest time and I don't want to lose that and I know that if things keep going the way they are, I will want to leave. I really don't want to go and say mom I can't take it anymore, I'm gone. Cause she won't be able to deal with that but I can't do anything else. She hasn't listened to anyone about anything. It is upsetting cause she knows how I feel about it and she still doesn't care. I guess that I am just not important enough to give him up.. But hey. Who cares right? I still have my sister. Who is taking things really well cause well. She is mine. and I am hers and she won't let anything get in the way of that. She is being adorable and I am glad that she is here for me. i really love her to death and she has taken care of me practically all summer. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 1st, 2000
12:39 am	It is 1240 and she still isn't here. It is starting to hurt (Comment on this)
Friday, June 30th, 2000
11:11 pm	OK so tonight sux. I got to see my sissy earlier and it was a suprise. I really loved it. but tonight sux. She is running really late but that is ok I am feeling really poor right now and I really think it sux. On the other hand I am feelign goo because I have been biking alot lately and I need to do something to exercise so I am ready for volleyball. And I think that I picked the right thing. cause I enjoy it. But I caught my mom smoking again. Which means she is lying to me. And I can't believe that she would do that again. After seeing how much it hurts. After seeing what it does to me and what it is doing to her health. I can't believe that she is going behind at least my back and smoking. I know that it just isn't right. I can't believe it. And it hurts really bad. I am so pissed off and I am shaking and I really want to just go sleep or go throw something or go biking. I just want to run. And I know that running from my problems isn't right but I haven't been. Coming home from my aunts house I let it all go. I told my mom everything. I told her what bugs me. I told her why I have been leaving and it was like I didn't even exist. It was like nothing I said got through to her. I can't believe after telling her everything she still isn't saying anything and she isn't acting like I told her anything. I am so hurt by her now I don't know what I am suppose to do. I am more mad at her than I am at Dad. I can't believe that she is doing this to me. I really can't put up with it. But when I leave again she will wonder why I'm not coming home and why I never want to be there. But she already knows. She just doesn't care. (Comment on this)
Friday, June 23rd, 2000
12:22 am	arg.. I wanna wirte but I have alot going on at the moment. Um.. Well I dont' really know what to say. I told my aunt and uncle what has been going on here adn they want to see me. And I don't get to house sit. So that is about it. Jen was really cute Tuesday night. I will talk more later (Comment on this)
12:18 am	Jennie bit me and now I have a marka nd that was yesterday. The women can bite hard. (Comment on this)
12:16 am	SO it is the first night since school ogt out that I have been home alone. It feels really wierd. I feel like someone should be here. Or I should be somewhere else. I really don't know. I miss my girl. I hope that she is having fun. (Comment on this)
Monday, June 19th, 2000
1:36 am	I have to get up early tomorrow and I am still up. I am really stupid. BUt oh well. I dont'care. I realyl dont. I just want to find something to do. But that is enough for the night. Talk to you later ~Meme (Comment on this)
1:07 am	I am so bored. I dont' want to go clean my room and I don't want to go to bed but I dont' really have anything to do. And I have had a really good day. (1 Comment |Comment on this)